Summer Reading by Hilma Wolitzer

Author:Hilma Wolitzer
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780345500304
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2007-05-22T04:00:00+00:00

17.

The Other Side of the Wall

In a reversal of the usual sexual politics at Macon, Stephen was deemed more culpable than Angela for the unfortunate event at the gallery, and even for the affair itself. The victims in the wake of their misdeeds were his own family, and Valerie was especially well liked by faculty and students. Maybe it was the perversity of his taste that nailed Stephen, his choosing the somewhat androgynous Angela over the feminine ideal of his wife. And, despite its naked subject and Jenna Barker’s malicious involvement in the scandal, the drawing was his. Whatever the reasons, he was denied tenure and his year-to-year appointment wasn’t renewed at the end of the spring semester.

Angela’s punishment was having to stay on, the object of pity, disdain, and, she was certain, an epidemic of nasty jokes. She did have tenure, and if she had decided to forfeit it and leave, the strong references required to land another position would not have been forthcoming. The atmosphere on campus felt poisonous. She wasn’t shunned, exactly—most people were too curious or falsely tolerant to do that—but she isolated herself as best she could from all the gossip and speculation. And she was mourning the loss of her best friends.

For weeks after the incident, Angela taught her classes and attended a few mandatory meetings, mostly hiding out in her apartment the rest of the time. She fell into exhausted sleep every night, only to awaken abruptly a couple of hours later with searing pain in both her legs that she had to try to walk off. There was never a medical finding for that pain; she was just given pills to dull it. The worst thing, though, was that even reading failed to provide any solace or distraction during that dark period. She was unable to concentrate, and flitted from book to book as restlessly as a fly at a picnic.

The Kellers were still living in their house while they shopped around for new jobs. Oddly enough, Stephen did get decent references—his reward, probably, for taking the hit—and Valerie’s were said to be over the top. So maybe they’d land on their feet, professionally at least. Angela wasn’t even sure they were going to stay together, although she hadn’t heard any reliable rumors to the contrary. She longed to see them and dreaded running into them.

Over and over, she imagined walking up the path to the house on Dogwood Drive, as she’d done so many times with such glad expectation, and knocking on the front door. In different versions of the fantasy, different members of the Keller family opened the door to her. Valerie, who had always covered her eyes during brutal scenes in movies, would simply close the door in her face, Angela knew, as if to shut out everything that had happened. If she was unable to discern the best in someone, she couldn’t bear to witness and acknowledge the worst. And the glimpse Angela would manage to get of

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